


Not Jane

by Madi_sin (orphan_account)



Series: The FedUpWithThisPapers [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Best Friends, Coming Out, Crying, Cuddles, Fluff, Friendship, How Do I Tag, LGBT, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Trans Character, Trans James Madison, ftm character, magenta robe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 11:48:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11759220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Madi_sin
Summary: James has attempted to come out to Thomas multiple times, but he always backs out at the last second. Not this time, though. It's six in the morning, he's outside Thomas's apartment, and he's finally going to do it. Probably. Hopefully.





	Not Jane

**Author's Note:**

> James here, just a little warning, James in the story has pretty bad anxiety and there's a bit of description (pretty mild) about how it affects him. Unfortunately, it's a pretty major plot point so you can't just skip over it. If that's something that with bother you or trigger an anxiety attack for you, please go read something else. Your health is more important than a fic. Anyway hope you enjoy this!

James stood outside of Thomas's apartment, working up the courage to knock. Logically, he knew that he should have more faith in Thomas, after all, Thomas had been his best friend since elementary school, but he couldn't quite calm himself down. Shaking slightly, he raised his hand and knocked lightly twice. His breath quickened as footsteps near the door.

"Jane! What are you doing here? Not that I'm not glad to see you, but it's 6 in the morning," Thomas exclaimed as he opened the door, his robe still on and his hair in a bun at the top of his head. James sighed internally at the name, but couldn't help but smile when Thomas was beaming sleepily at him. His nerves calmed down slightly now that he was right in front of Thomas. This was his best friend, he could tell him anything.

“There’s actually something I really needed to tell you, Thomas. I’ve been meaning to tell you it for a long time but I backed out every time and I know I can trust you with anything but it’s really big and I don’t want things to change between us but I’m afraid they will and oh god I’m rambling, I’m so sorry.”

Thomas looked down at James in concern. “Hey, don’t apologize, Just breathe, go sit on the couch, I’ll make you some tea.” With that he led James inside before walking into the kitchen and rummaging around for a pot.

James sat down and attempted to catch his breath, looking at the French flag pinned on the wall and counting slowly up to ten and back down. He could do this, it would be fine. But what about what about that time Thomas had harassed Hamilton about being bi… No, he had apologized after he had yelled at him, said he’d only been trying to get under Hamilton’s skin. It would be fine. Absolutely fine.

After what seemed to be only a few moments, Thomas returned holding two mugs of tea, one earl gray for him and peach tea for Thomas. “Ok, now that you’re breathing's returned to normal, do you want to talk about why you were so upset, Jane?”

James had a whole speech planned in his head, full of facts and statistics and all the reasons being trans was ok and why Thomas should hear him out. Instead the only thing that came out was, “It’s James, not Jane.”

Thomas didn’t say anything for a moment. He just stared, an unreadable expression upon his face. Just as James began to panic, Thomas grinned. “Ok James, pronouns?”

He almost started sobbing in relief. Actually he DID start sobbing in relief. Thomas pulled him into a hug and let him cry into his magenta robe as he choked out, “He/Him. God Thomas you don’t know how scared I was, I thought you’d call me disgusting or a freak and make me leave.”

“I’d never do that, I couldn’t, you’re my best friend. I’ll always be here for you, Jemmy.” He punctuated the statement with a kiss to James’s forehead and hugged him closer. They drifted off together on the couch, only to wake two hours later late for class and feeling closer than ever. As friends. Just friends.

**Author's Note:**

> Also 100% not a self insert no matter what John says, James and I are completely different so I'd appreciate if he would not accuse me like that. Anyway hope you enjoyed! Please leave a comment if you want, or not. Expect a shit ton more of these from me, 29 total probably...


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